tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post4253848313836935241..comments2024-01-12T06:12:35.838-05:00Comments on StorytellERdoc: Hold A HandStorytellERdochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14371229500424449124noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-65105479089079592702011-04-01T20:00:26.459-04:002011-04-01T20:00:26.459-04:00To Stephany, who wondered why folks were left alon...To Stephany, who wondered why folks were left alone in the ED--that is because cost control measures in many hospitals mean that there is no one on staff who can be with them or advocate for them. I have done some shifts in a hospital that does their very best but could probably use a full time chaplain for the ED alone--and budget will likely never allow for this. I have met some incredible MDs there including the one I wrote about above but there's no question the ED can be a cold and lonely and scary place. And I thank Dr J above who understands about families being with their loved ones if at all possible. And, to Angie, OF COURSE your bishop and husband should have been able to bless you and if I'd been there I'd have supported the request. So sorry to everyone who has had painful experiences... So many of us wish we could do more to make it better.terri chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398808840234914275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-63491034973928932772011-04-01T19:09:59.706-04:002011-04-01T19:09:59.706-04:00I told you a while back about my bout with necroti...I told you a while back about my bout with necrotizing fasciitis. One of the most painful things a person can go through. Even worse when a doctor doesn't beleive you're in "that much pain" and lets you sit in a hospital bed for three days before calling a surgeon, even though the vanco isn't working!Dr. Mongo Lloydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351344829632811877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-53767446995224533842011-03-31T14:40:36.429-04:002011-03-31T14:40:36.429-04:00I will never forget my OB's voice when he call...I will never forget my OB's voice when he called to tell me my mamogram looked suspicious. He was so kind and concerned. He set up my biopsy for the next day - with a doctor that he trusted, one that had performed biopsies on him. He, my plastic surgeon, my oncologist and my radiology oncologist were all incredible - each member of their staff making me feel important, like I mattered. <br /><br />However, this was not the case for the doc that did the biopsy. When he got the pathology report after my mastectomy, he couldn't even be bothered to let me know what they were. He sent me to the oncologist, with the paper report in my hand (I didn't understand what it said). In all the times I had seen him, all he ever said was "Oh, you might have to do a little radiation, but that's it." Well, that isn't what the path report indicated. So when the oncologist started talking about chemo I was caught completely off guard. He thought the other doctor had explained everything to me. After he realized what was going on, he stopped, backed up and explained things.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00168721973883221546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-17901358837336278482011-03-31T09:38:09.711-04:002011-03-31T09:38:09.711-04:00As I was reading your story, I was reminded of the...As I was reading your story, I was reminded of the book Cutting For Stone, and when Dr. Stone's son stands up in the lecture hall and repeats his father's words from his text book about (paraphrasing) medical treatment administered to the ear being words of compassion. As a patient with chronic illness and mother of a child with chronic illness...this is exactly what makes one medical practitioner stand out from another... I believe that it is the words of kindness, the gentle compassionate touch on a shoulder, the listening ear of the physician and the eye to eye contact that have the potential to heal more than any medication or procedure ever can... it is the connection between human to human...the mutual respect that we all crave and deserve and is too often missing. But when it happens, it is sacred, and I am grateful.<br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts...and for teaching your students what it really means to be a physician, a healer.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15349928247626849914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-2285228453692661932011-03-30T20:45:19.182-04:002011-03-30T20:45:19.182-04:00The letter brought tears to my eyes. I can't i...The letter brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine that terrifying moment. <br /><br />What a coincidence, one of my recent posts has some similarity to yours. A heart-touching experience with a terminal patient. <br /><br />Doris<br />www.doris-socialworker. blogspot.comHold my hand: a social worker's bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06283197748791227012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-62708152895767596872011-03-29T10:29:31.258-04:002011-03-29T10:29:31.258-04:00I was phoned by a care facility that my 20somethin...I was phoned by a care facility that my 20something non verbal autistic disabled daughter was sent to an ER for becoming agitated at her care facility (where she no longer resides). I was horrified no one was with her in the ER when I got there, and worse is how she was found by me. Strapped to a gurney/bed, no clothes at all covered with a sheet, the lights off in the room and the attendent w a clip board 'monitoring' sitting in a chair in the hall.<br /><br />I demanded to know why she was strapped to the bed, someone get her clothes....<br /><br />and don't forget the <i>dignity</i>, human kindness and compassion that people in their most vulnerable times whether sick, or dying deserve and mostly expect from medical professionals.<br /><br />Thank God I was there for her, because no one in the medical staff at that ER was, ---and incredibly I received a phone call 12 hours later from a social worker telling me my daughter was in the ER.<br /><br />One nurse on a new shift that came in saw her and brought her scones, milk and a kind smile.<br /><br /><i>Alone in times of crisis inside ER's or hospitals is traumatic and speaks for itself what it does to patients whether they live or die</i>.<br /><br />Why there are any hospital or ER horror stories of 'alone without family in time of need' is incredible in itself.soulful sepulcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12271584927611299868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-88160829182512705612011-03-28T19:45:04.114-04:002011-03-28T19:45:04.114-04:00Thanks ER DOC for doing your job well. With all t...Thanks ER DOC for doing your job well. With all the testing going on with my husband Mark, and still no answers since August, I WISH we had experiences that you deliver. People are blessed because of what you pour into their lives. A heart moved by compassion and love in motion.... Take care and enjoy ! Cousin Jenny in VAJen M Warrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03240134934919422950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-2395880124463026402011-03-27T19:40:28.262-04:002011-03-27T19:40:28.262-04:00It's funny. There are people in all profession...It's funny. There are people in all professions who forget that their "cases" are actual human beings. Computer geeks forget the software they are coding exists for someone who needs it to do their job, and that creating it to serve them right is what matters. Teachers forget that their students aren't just The One Who Doesn't Pay Attention but are children who may be hungry, tired or sad. <br /><br />Luckily there are people in all professions that never forget the human in the humanity. I always feel so lucky when I encounter one of them. They are what make our species great.Shehttp://www.shelearnstorow.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-22437502672012601002011-03-26T15:43:30.095-04:002011-03-26T15:43:30.095-04:00I have had an experience being a family member in ...I have had an experience being a family member in the family room. It was when my father was in hospital recovering from a craniotomy to debulk some of the tumour in his frontal lobe. <br /><br />It was the day he was to be discharged and we were supposed to receive the results of his biopsy. No one seemed to want to talk to us about what was going on at all, then a nurse came and gave us his discharge summary so I read it. It said that he was being referred to Oncology and I knew that meant he had cancer. Finding out by reading a discharge summary was very, very difficult. When we asked the nurse about it she said "You're not supposed to read the summary." Finally we put our foot down and a young doctor came to talk to us. <br /><br />He clearly didn't have a lot of experience with giving bad news and never looked at me once, in fact I was seated at the other end of the room near the door. He just blurted it out, that Dad was going to die and never even introduced himself. He just was saying it over and over and over. Telling Dad all the things he couldn't do anymore; don't drive, don't exercise too much etc. <br /><br />It was a terrible experience and I did not feel supported throughout it at all. On the other hand the oncology doctors we were referred to were brilliant and so caring. But I will never forget that experience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-49152229519145477412011-03-25T17:38:48.477-04:002011-03-25T17:38:48.477-04:00I haven't yet had to endure this in my own lif...I haven't yet had to endure this in my own life, but I'm lucky enough that I get to teach others how to communicate. I work in pediatrics and there are a few of us (pediatricians, child life specialists, peds ID docs) that teach communication skills to medical students as they rotate through our department. It's so sad that they don't get this education anywhere else in medical school. I love teaching about "breaking bad news", whether that's "your loved one has died" or "your leg is broken". The students always come into that session feeling like they have no idea what to do and most leave feeling empowered. We use role-play and actual cases to illustrate how important a skill this is. It's perhaps more important than all the other garbage we learned in medical school.<br /><br />Thanks for writing about your experience and thanks for teaching.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-61861153287452626362011-03-25T13:43:33.443-04:002011-03-25T13:43:33.443-04:00I wish you had been the doctor when my kids dad di...I wish you had been the doctor when my kids dad died. There had been a horrible accident while out hunting with my kids and after being found by search and rescue he had been life flighted to a hospital 100 miles from where the accident had happened so my kids (13 and 11) were driven there by relatives. I was on my way to the hospital but had 300 miles to drive. Unfortunately he died while being flown to the hospital. When they got there the kids were taken into a waiting room and sat there and waited. Finally a nurse came in and said, "Well, I guess the doctor can't make it so I'll have to tell you...He didn't make it." My kids will never forget that and it still tears me up to remember what they went through.Teresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10288540305866325043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-5383499464587001902011-03-24T17:00:05.912-04:002011-03-24T17:00:05.912-04:00I was working a shift (chaplain) in a hospital and...I was working a shift (chaplain) in a hospital and met a wonderful ED physician. Patient came in having something really bad going on with his heart. I prayed with and held the family in the hallway. Eventually the physician came to talk with the family and to explain what was wrong and why it wasn't fixable, and explain that the patient was dying even despite the chest compressions and medicines and etc. He spoke understandably and patiently and answered questions. The family gave permission to stop the resuscitation. The doctor asked, "Who needs to be in the room with him then?" The family members sorted themselves out and moved into the room with their loved one. The resuscitation continued until everyone was where they needed to be and touching the patient, and then the doctor very quietly directed the team to stop. Each member then very quietly left the room, and the patient had a peaceful death with all the family around holding both hands, stroking his face, etc. The physician remained silent in the corner until death happened, and later I found the physician in the family room meeting the family once more to answer questions and offer support. That's my fave ED physician.terri chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398808840234914275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-70359338656269812242011-03-24T15:11:55.758-04:002011-03-24T15:11:55.758-04:00Thank you for this.
I have issues to this day o...Thank you for this. <br /><br />I have issues to this day on how my daughter was treated before she died. <br /><br />My son and I did not want all teaching doctors and interns to talk about her <i>in front of her</i>. We knew she could hear them. She would squeeze our hands when we asked her to. Doctors tried to tell us no, it's reflexes...yeah right. <br /><br />We asked them to step out in the hall every single time they came and they acted like we wanted them to hike 10 miles. I started calling them the Queens of Sheba behind their backs. =) <br /><br />Most of the residents/interns appear to understand my point of view but all the Queens of Sheba were directing their subjects so I don't think they will remember...<br /><br />I also wish the triage doctor had not kept my daughter waiting all day as she crashed 3 hours after being admitted despite having a record of a prior admission only 3 weeks prior for the same problem. (pneumonia) Her friends said there were too many screaming toddlers with snotty noses. <br /><br />PLUS, my mother arrived at the hospital 30 minutes after visiting hours...her flight was late. They would not let her see my daughter. None of us got to talk to her again. That haunts us. My mother was called in the middle of the night to come back. My son and I arrived the next morning to find her in multiple organ failure. <br /><br />Visiting hours are not necessary IMO. I am sure families get in the way at times but I think ya'll should deal with it. This time, the hospital got in our way. My daughter crashed with no family at her bedside and my mother is now tormented with that memory. <br /><br />I think it would do a lot of good to teach the art of compassion/grief in medical school. Most nurses have it down pat but the doctors...well, you're an exception. =)<br /><br />Anyway, thanks for listening.Have Myelin?https://www.blogger.com/profile/05704037582961814202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-46176017207756194102011-03-24T14:47:24.968-04:002011-03-24T14:47:24.968-04:00I think you should be cloned :)I think you should be cloned :)Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16505134228454833619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-85843838924328651072011-03-24T10:26:08.235-04:002011-03-24T10:26:08.235-04:00Kindness matters.Kindness matters.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17685436243608973979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-61958377917734663032011-03-24T08:46:13.124-04:002011-03-24T08:46:13.124-04:00Eight years ago yesterday I lost my beloved brothe...Eight years ago yesterday I lost my beloved brother to stroke. A one-and-done kind of stroke. His last conscious act on this earth, as he suffered the headache from Hades, was to help another person. He was just that kind of guy. <br /><br />The person whom I remember the most was the Organ Donation liason. She so lovingly traced my brother's hand onto paper... tubes and monitors and all making his hand tracing lumpy. I cherish that hand tracing. Truly cherish it. Her simple act of kindness will stay with me forever.<br /><br />My brother's last (albeit unconscious) act was to be a donor for both his kidneys and his liver.<br /><br />Thank you for being a sensitive person and not letting your career stamp that out of your modus operandi. May you always be such a gem.Esther Parishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14330224814734640943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-61087227029707374442011-03-24T01:25:34.376-04:002011-03-24T01:25:34.376-04:00Having great mentors like yourself goes a long way...Having great mentors like yourself goes a long way to setting the minds of inexperienced staff on the straight and narrow when it comes to handling delicate matters such as impending death and death with family and friends of patients.<br /><br />Having said that, the first time is always the hardest and words such as, "I'm so sorry for your loss" don't always cut it with people. <br /><br />Tender loving care (TLC) mixed with words that really matter truly helps those who need it the most.<br /><br />Where are all the great mentors gone? Perhaps tired of repeated experiences such as in your article and a life time of rejected construstive criticism drives them away. Mores the pity.<br /><br />Take Care,<br />PeterPeterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12097919387041286154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-73812992991690988912011-03-24T01:13:14.611-04:002011-03-24T01:13:14.611-04:00I am a big believer in having the family in the ro...I am a big believer in having the family in the room during the resuscitation, so they can be physically close to their loved one. I am a bit dismayed to see comments that relate to various hospital 'rules' that have prevented decent care for very ill patients. <br /><br />'We will care for the patient', that is the one rule to rule them all. Any lesser rule that is in conflict with this meta rule should never be enforced.Dr. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-37711103244803927352011-03-23T14:14:25.908-04:002011-03-23T14:14:25.908-04:00Sometimes I wonder why do I still chose to enter i...Sometimes I wonder why do I still chose to enter into this profession, especially when I am trained and have experience in a totally unrelated profession. Nevertheless, when I receive affirming feedback and recall that I have made a difference to some people's lives, I think it is somehow worth it.Winking Dollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14045187430930181570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-51227351443161625622011-03-23T14:10:33.189-04:002011-03-23T14:10:33.189-04:00Thanks for yet another touching article. You'r...Thanks for yet another touching article. You're right, the health care profession has changed dramatically in the last 2 decades, even in Singapore -- no thanks to legal threats, personnel cuts, management by KPIs (which often won't include the hard to measure "caring touch"), patients' rights outstrip that of the medical professionals, and increasing awareness and abuse of such rights by patients and their next of kins.Winking Dollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14045187430930181570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-19142483690187526532011-03-23T14:01:03.736-04:002011-03-23T14:01:03.736-04:00I had to make a trip to the ER last week for what ...I had to make a trip to the ER last week for what turned out to be appendicitis and fully intend on writing a letter to commend those (doctors and nurses) that went above and beyond to make my ER visit, surgery and hospital stay as pleasent and anxiety-free as possible. I'm sure they don't hear "thank you" enough and completely deserve to know what a difference they made in an otherwise scary and uncomfortable situation.<br /><br />Thank you for what you do. More doctors should be like you.kate sweetenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05456543724486391157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-26610844546436913282011-03-23T13:39:10.481-04:002011-03-23T13:39:10.481-04:00Two years ago, I was taken by helicopter in the mi...Two years ago, I was taken by helicopter in the middle of the night to the tertiary care center, intubated and utterly unaware that I was critically ill. My husband, toddler daughter, and mother had to wait in that room for hours without any indication of how things were going. Periodically a doctor or nurse would hurry in, ask some impatient questions, imply they were too stupid to answer correctly, then hurry out. Obviously, I am incredibly grateful to those same clinically talented doctors for saving my life. It would have been a huge help to my family, though, if there could be a social worker, nurse, or aide who could act as a liason from the treatment team to the family to help explain what was going on, what the doctors were doing, what to expect in the short and long term, and comfort them. It would be even better if that person could escort a family member to a window where they could see the doctors working -- if things aren't too gory. In my case, my family had to wait 6 hours to come in to see me, and my husband was never allowed to (with our bishop) give me a religious blessing of healing (that is very important to our faith) either in the ER or later in the ICU because the policy prohibited more than one visitor at once (our blessings require two people to administer) and bringing in the olive oil used to annoint the head of the sick was forbidden because it was "outside food". Of course, ensuring access to the patient by the medical team is paramount, but surely there was some moment in those long hours where my husband and bishop could lay their hands on my head for 2-5 minutes. Imagine how my husband would have felt if I had died and he hadn't been allowed to even try to do what he could for me. Within reason, allowing people to practice their rituals and observances can be very important for the survivors as well as the patient. This particular (public university) hospital would allow a Catholic priest to give Last Rites but not my Mormon husband to give me a blessing.Angienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-30708671472071740212011-03-23T11:42:52.901-04:002011-03-23T11:42:52.901-04:00Thank you Jim .Thank you Jim .jimbo26https://www.blogger.com/profile/02240878442136195921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-55152373675648348262011-03-23T10:34:52.886-04:002011-03-23T10:34:52.886-04:00I strongly believe that a person that is in contro...I strongly believe that a person that is in control of themselves and not actively in the way should be allowed to stay in the room with their loved one. If death is near, please put yourself in your patient's and their family's place. This time is too important and cannot be regained once lost.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7558528804236989500.post-40432951476388795562011-03-23T10:12:09.297-04:002011-03-23T10:12:09.297-04:00My father just passed away Sunday morning. The sta...My father just passed away Sunday morning. The staff of the hospital - the hospitalist, the nurses, the respiratory therapists - every single person were wonderful to both me and my father. The hospice workers were amazing. Everyone worked to make the end of his life as comfortable as possible for both of us. I cannot tell you how grateful I am.pam44https://www.blogger.com/profile/10830335167439702203noreply@blogger.com